Just a giggle

[Janey]

I'm a little fed up today at work & thought I'd share a couple of text jokes with you all!!!!

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A son asks his dad the difference between "theoretically" & "realistically"...

Dad says thats hard, but I have an idea........

Ask mum if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid. Mum says yes......

Dad says now ask your sister if she'll sleep with the newspaper man for 2 million quid. Sister says yes......

Well there you go son, theoretically we're sitting on 3 million quid but realistically we're living with 2 slags .......

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Just rang up to complain about the racism on big brother! Got through to the Offcom call centre but couldn't understand a fuckin word the paki said..........

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My apologies if you have already heard these!!!!

[kidder]

[KO]

[Janey]

ko said:

Don't you stick your tongue out at me you man........

[Janey]

An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play ANY musical instrument you like!"

Englishman gives him a guitar which he plays better then Hendrix!
Irishman gives him a piano which he plays better than Elton!

Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes! The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman says "What's wrong can ye no play it?"

The Octopus says "Play it? I'm gonna fcuk her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!"

[EXPATHAMMER]

:)nice 1

janeybabe said:

An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play ANY musical instrument you like!"

Englishman gives him a guitar which he plays better then Hendrix!
Irishman gives him a piano which he plays better than Elton!

Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes! The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman says "What's wrong can ye no play it?"

The Octopus says "Play it? I'm gonna fcuk her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!"

[footybabe]

[mightyirons89]