Post by n75 on Aug 23, 2005 10:19:02 GMT 1
Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but, unfortunately they had alway had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent the would marry she thought to herself. "He is so sweet also a gentleman, he would never go for this carrying on". So, she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up the bean's. Some months later her car broke down on the way from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she'd be late because she had to walk home. On the way she passed a small diner and the odour of the baked beans was more then she could stand. Since she still had several miles to walk, she figured she could walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed 3 large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted and upon arriving home she felt sure she could control it.
Her husband met her at the door and apperaed delighted to see her. "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight. Then he blindfolded her led her to a chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife the telephone rang. He mad her promise not to remove the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she had eaten were affecting her and the pressure became unbearable. So, while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity and shifted her weight to one cheek and let it go. it was not only loud but smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously, then shifted to the other cheek and rippped off three more, which reminder her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ear tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another 5 minutes.
When the phone farewells signalled the end of her freedom. She quickly fanned the air a few more times with her napkin then place it on her lap and folded her hands upon it. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked her whether she had peeked and she assured him that she had not.
At this point her removed the blindfold and she was surprised.
There were twelve dinner guest seated around the table to wish her a
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"..........ARE YOU SMILING?
quality
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed 3 large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted and upon arriving home she felt sure she could control it.
Her husband met her at the door and apperaed delighted to see her. "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight. Then he blindfolded her led her to a chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife the telephone rang. He mad her promise not to remove the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she had eaten were affecting her and the pressure became unbearable. So, while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity and shifted her weight to one cheek and let it go. it was not only loud but smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously, then shifted to the other cheek and rippped off three more, which reminder her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ear tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another 5 minutes.
When the phone farewells signalled the end of her freedom. She quickly fanned the air a few more times with her napkin then place it on her lap and folded her hands upon it. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked her whether she had peeked and she assured him that she had not.
At this point her removed the blindfold and she was surprised.
There were twelve dinner guest seated around the table to wish her a
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"..........ARE YOU SMILING?
quality
